ALPHA - Fun Page

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ALPHA v0.3

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Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

Alpha
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Topic: adult

Miss Snow White Was A Randy Cow And Desperate For A Fuck So Off...

The Kindergartners Were Now In The First Grade. Their Teacher...

It Ain'T Easy Being A Dick!...

The Ambulance And The Wheelchairs...

Farm Animal Names...

The Apartment...

Arnold Palmers Ex Girl Friend...

A Day At The Zoo...

Bald Head And Wooden Leg...

The Newly Revised Guide To The Bases...

A Day In The Beauty Shop...

Guide To Beer Drinking...

Pussy Vs. Beer...

The Battle Of The Bobbit Hillbillies...

The Bobbitt Man (Colin Jackson With Apologies To Billy Joel)...

Top Ten Countrywestern Songs That Scare John Wayne Bobbit...

The Obnoxious Cabbie...

Top Ten Signs You'Ve Gone To A Bad Chiropractor...

Upper Class Bird And Other Wishes...

A Nice Clean Poem...

The World Of Politically Correct...

Enclosed Is A Quiz I Shall Hand Out To Any Future Dates. Also...

The Dictionary Of Dating...

The Male Sexual Organ Requests A Promotion And A Raise For The...

What Do You Have If You'Ve Got Two Green Fuzzies In Your Hands?...

The Emperor Was Trying To Find The Best Samurai Swordsman In The...

More Top Ten Children'S Books We'Re Unlikely To See...

It Was A Warm Sunny Sunday So A Man And His Wife Decided To Take...

Dirty Jokes 6...

Dirty Jokes 07...

Short And Dirty Jokes ---------------------...

1. When I Go In I Might Cause Pain. I Cause You To Spit And Ask...

United States Department Of Agriculture Bulletin No. 3789...

The Dr. Seuss Purity Test...

Why The Ethernet (Internet Bitnet Etc..) Is Like A Penis...

Fuck - The Word...

The Fancy Mural ---------------...

A Depressed Young Woman Was So Desperate That She Decided To End...

Two Men Camping In The Mountains Had Spent Four Days Together...

A Woman Is In Bed With Her Lover Who Also Happens To Be Her...

A Vacation In Florida ---------------------...

Getting The Special -------------------...

I'M Glad I'M A Woman...

The Story Of The Gloves -----------------------...

The Rules Of Bedroom Golf -------------------------...

Golf Part 2 ------------...

The Great Gonzo ---------------...

No Ears -------...

Two Construction Workers Are Working The High Beams. One...

Helen Keller...

Hit-N-Run Points Chart...

Red Riding Hood And The Wolf...

Your Monthly Horoscope...

Indian Chief And The White Men ------------------------------...

Why The Internet Is Like A Pussy...

A Man Had Just Won 10 Million Dollars In The Lottery And Rushed...

Soooo...You Don'T Know Jack Schitt??!!...

Michael Jackson Special Announcement...

Johnny'S Grandmother...

Euphemisms For Death...

It Was A Stifling Hot Day And A Man Fainted In The Middle Of A...

Two Nuns Sister Marilyn And Sister Helen Are Traveling Through...

A Bloke Is Driving Around In The Australian Bush And Because...

Walking Through Chinatown A Tourist Is Fascinated With All The...

Karate.....The Dog ------------------...

All The Good Knights Were Leaving For The Crusades. One Knight...

The Koala Bear --------------...

Product Improvement...

A Man And His Leprechaun ------------------------...

The Young Girl And Her Lighter ------------------------------...

Little Johnny Jokes -------------------...

Dr. Livingston I Presume -------------------------...

Ode To Lorena...

Machismo - How Much You Got ---------------------------...

The Requirements For Being A Male In The 90'S...

Man In A Closet ---------------...

15 Ways To Tell If Your Marriage Is In Trouble...

Guys You'Ve Met In The Men'S Room...

Q Have You Heard About Michael Jackson'S New Book? A It'S Called...

Doris Fred Had Started Their Retirement Years And Decided To...

Mommy Mommy -----------...

A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Monkey He Had Just Bought At The...

Morals To The Story -------------------...

My Dog Sex ----------...

The New Gym In Town -------------------...

The New Prostitute ------------------...

The New Rooster ---------------...

Taxpayer Notification To All Male Taxpayers From Infernal...

A Night In The Barn -------------------...

Whataya Call A Man With No Arms And No Legs...

Two Elderly Gentlemen Who Had Been Without Sex For Several Years...

To All Employees Who Work Overtime...

Parrot In Church ----------------...

The Parrot On His Perch -----------------------...

A Visit To The Pharmacist...

The Piano Playing Bum ---------------------...

The Piccolo Player In Church ----------------------------...

33 Ways To Kill The Pillsbury Doughboy...

Mary Had A Little Calf...

Next Time That You Are With A Relative Friendworkmate Etc. Give...

The Rating System...

An 80 Year Old Man Went For His Annual Check Up And The Doctor...

Rubber Things...

The Russian And American Guards...

The Meaning Of Savoir-Faire...

Ten Reasons Why Scooby Doo Was A Drug-Influenced Cartoon...

Date Sun 21 Jan 1996 102312 -0500...

The Official Clinical Aptitude Sex Test...

Shotgun Mating Call...

List Of American Slogan Translations Into Foreign Languages...

The Moral Of The Sparrow...

The Guy And The Truckers Hat...

Twisted Ears...

Top Ten Signs Valentines Day Sucks...

The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Vampire...

Top Ten Things Men Shouldn'T Say Out Loud In Victoria'S Secret...

Things Not To Do While Waiting For Your Date At Her Parents'...

Here'S A Handy Guide For Those Of You Who Have To Deal With...

The Wizard And The Toad -----------------------...

Women - An Understanding ------------------------...

Words - And What They Really Stand For...

Words That Could Be Confusing And Embarrassing In The Uk Us...

Two Dwarfs Decide To Treat Themselves To A Vacation In Las Vegas...

A Policeman Was Patrolling Near Midnight At A Local Parking Spot...

A Recent Scottish Immigrant Attends His First Baseball Game In...

I Still Like The Divorced Barbie Who Comes Complete With All Of...

Indian Guide (With Ear To The Ground) Buffalo Come....

Newly Revised Guide To The Bases...

The Bobbits'...

Top Ten Songs That Make John Wayne Bobbitt Uneasy....

Top Ten Movie Titles That Make John Wayne Bobbitt Squeamish....

On An Isolated Stretch Of Beach Near Cannes A Beautiful French...

These Two Drunks At A Bar Go To The Bathroom To Piss. When They...

How Can You Tell The Difference Between A Straight Rodeo And A...

This Guy Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Double. After The...

A Young Man Is Visiting His Future Wife'S Parent'S House For...

Two Car Salesmen Were Sitting At The Bar. One Complained To The...

Top 3 Reasons Clinton Should Select John Bobbitt For Defense...

Obscenity Is Whatever Gives The Judge An Erection...

A Little Known Area Of Sick Jokes Are The Other Than That' Type....

Two Hells Angels Talking....

One Day On A Busy Street Corner A Huge Man Walks Up To A Police...

A Woman Passenger In A Horse-Drawn Cab Has Offered The Driver A...

Q. What Did Abraham Lincoln Said The Morning After His Wildest...

The Day After Her Husband'S Death The Widow Met With The Funeral...

A Construction Worker Went To The Hospital One Day After Hurting...

This Guy Goes Into A Bar With A Big Alligator And Sets It On The...

Two Very Old Ladies Were Sitting On The Porch Rocking. One...

Susan Smith'S South Carolina Water World!...

The Israelites Are Waiting Anxiously At The Foot Of The Mountain...

How Many Opossums Does It Take To Have Sex?...

Three Women Were In A Gynecologist'S Office A Brunette A Red-...

There'S A German A Frenchman And A Polack On A Train And Their...

A Woman Went To The Doctor And Upon Examination Was Told That...

An Old Man Goes Into The Social Security Office And Applies For...

I Went To See My Doctor... You Know Him... Doctor Vidi-Boom-Ba?...

It Is Sung To The Tune Of In The Jungle The Mighty Jungle....

There Was A Blonde Driving Down The Road Listening To The Radio...

I Hope The Next Time We See Each Other Mary It Will Be At The...

A Dumb Blonde Was Bragging About Her Knowledge Of The State...

A Man Who Worked For The Fire Department Came Home From Work And...

A Big Muscular Hulk Of A Guy Lumbers Into A Bar And Sits Down On...

Two Americans Walk Into A Bar In Tijuana. While Ordering The...

An Elderly Couple From Texas Are On Their Way To Memphis To...

What'S The Difference Between Jeffrey Dahmer And An Orange?...

After Many Hours Of Extremely Acrobatic And Exhausting Sex With...

Three Freshman Engineering Students Were Sitting Around One Day...

A Stranger Came By Farmer Brown'S Place As He Worked His Fields...

Why Did God Create Man? Because A Vibrator Can'T Mow The Lawn!!...

Jeffrey Dahmer A Man Who Touched The Hearts And Souls Of Many...

A Group Of Golfers Were Playing Behind A Really Bad And Slow...

A Dude Taking A Stroll Stops In At A Clock-Shop And Lays His...

A Man Was Stranded On A Desert Island. One Night There Was A...

What Should You Do When An Elephant Comes In Your Window?...

The Sex Therapist Advised The Couple To Be More Spontaneous...

There Once Was A Man Riding On The Same Train As This Lady Was...

The Manager At The Funeral Home Was Drawn Into The Large Dimly...

What Do You Have If You Have A Moth Ball In One Hand And A Moth...

How Do You Say Fuck You In Yiddish?...

So This Eskimo Woman Goes To Town To Get Her Snowblower Fixed...

A Tourist Watching Tv News In A West Texas Bar Exclaims. That...

Little Red Riding Hood Is Walking Through The Woods When The Big...

At A National Women'S Conference A Table Of Women From The South...

Did You Know That A Man Is Made Of Useless Parts?...

A Man Walks Into A Bar In Ireland And Orders A Drink. He Notices...

You Hear About The Kid Who Was Half Jewish And Half Puerto...

Two Older Men Sat On A Bench In The Park. One Said I Hear That...

There Was A Butler Who Worked For A Wealthy Couple. The Husband...

Which Reminds Me Of The Story Of A Couple Of Young Lassies Who...

An American A Paki And A Canadian Are Sitting At The Bar. The...

Three Straight Guys Were In A Bar And They Were Bragging About...

One Day As I Came Home Early From Work I Saw A Guy Jogging...

What Would It Take To Reunite The Beatles?...

The Teacher Has Set The Class An Assignment. He Stresses The...

What'S Another Name For Jell-O?...

There Was A Lady Who Was Downstairs In An Apartment Putting Her...

A Farmer Is Giving His Wife Last-Minute Instructions Before...

Little Miss Muffet...

There Once Was A Priest A Rabbi And A Lawyer Taking A Load Full...

Two Women Were Sitting Together Sharing Their Morning Coffee....

On The Same Token .....Why Do Women Rub Their Eyes First Thing...

Why Did God Create Men?...

Three Vampires Went Into A Vampire Bar To Get A Drink. Their...

This Farmer Bought A Rooster. Farmer Sat On The Rail Watching...

What Does Sex And Oregon Rain Have In Common?...

Have You Read Any Of These?...

A Little Girl Visiting France Accidentally Wanders Onto The Nude...

Did Ya Hear The One About The Two Pollock'S Driving To The East...

What'S The Difference Between Rush Limbaugh And A Pig?...

In The Beginning Was The Plan. And Then Came The Assumptions...

What Would Grace Kelly Be Doing If She Were Alive Today?...

Why Were Moses' Parents So Lucky?...

Q What Did God Say After He Created Man?...

Q Why Did God Give Women Nipples?...

Signs Your Neighbor Is A Devil Worshipper...

How Do You Tell If A Cop Is Really Dead?...

Why Do Black People Wear White Gloves?...

A Wealthy Woman Had A Live-In Maid Who Was Black And Very Sexy...

The Youngest Son Of A Great Indian Chief Went To His Father And...

Man Walks In The Bar And Orders 5 Shots Of Whiskey And 5 Beers...

Three Surgeons Were Sitting Around Talking About The Types Of...

What Does A Black Man And A Christmas Tree Have In Common?...

A Homosexual Swished Onto A Bus To Face A Derogatory Sneer From...

What'S Black And White And Red All Over And Has Trouble Getting...

Q. How Did Capt. Hook Die?...

I Was Tired One Night And I Went To The Bar To Have A Few...

I Think We Could Balance The Federal Budget If We Taxed Sex...

Why Can'T You Take A Shit At A Beatles Concert?...

What Did Grace Kelly Have That Natalie Wood Could Have Used?...

After The Lorean Bobbitt Incident She Was Driving Down The...

Yes Sir They Paid Good Wages But It Was The Most Ridiculous...

A Gold Pro At A Local Golf Course Is Teaching This Woman How To...

It Seems That Several Months Ago In The Realm Of Our Gang There...

5 Reasons It'S A Bummer To Be An Egg....

A Traveling Salesman Was Traveling Down A Country Road When His...

A Marine D.I. Takes His Recruits Out To One Of The Swamps In...

A Woman Enters A Bar And Orders A Beer. Anheuser-Busch? The...

Frank And Margaret Were An Old Couple Who Were Far Too...

Many Years Ago A Modelactor Named Penis Vanlesbian Asked His...

John Had Two Pet Monkeys Whom He Loved Very Much But Both Died...

Sophie Has A Slight Heart Problem. Her Father Was Starting To...

A Wealthy Dowager Was Shopping In The Produce Department At The...

Btw Did You Hear About The Heartbreak In Hollywood? It Seems...

Good Evening Ladies Sherlock Holmes Said As He Passed Three...

It Seems That Bill And Hillary Clinton Were At A Baseball Game...

A Man Came Down With The Flu And Was Forced To Stay Home One Day...

Mr Ant Gives His New Bride The Elephant A Right Good Seeing To...

There'S Three Guys At A Whorehouse. One Is Inside One Is Walking...

Are You Kidding? I Know My Wife Cheats On Me. The Other Day I...

One Day I Said To My Kid Some Day You'Ll Have Kids Of Your Own...

There Was A Cowboy An Indian And A Black Guy Sitting Around A...

Little Cindy Who Has Just Turned Five Asked Her Mother How Do...

Little Old Lady (Who Just Looks Like Your Grandmother) Goes Into...

Man Walks Up To A Woman In A Shop Hey Lady Can I Smell Your...

A Certain Women Decided To Visit The Doctor To Have Her Breasts...

An Old Timer Was Riding The Trail In His Wagon When An Outlaw...

A Fellow Becomes Concerned About His Depressed Parrot And Takes...

A Priest Has Two Male Parrots. Doting On Them He Makes Small...

A Preacher Was Asked To Give A Talk At A Local Women'S Health...

There Was These Three Professors Looking For The Mythical Foo...

A Guy Is Outside In His Front Yard Attempting To Fly A Kite With...

A Hillbilly Kid Marries His Childhood Sweetheart (Literally If...

A Mother Son Were About To Go To The Shopping Mall As She Warned...

Two Kids Were Having The Standard Argument About Whose Father...

God Was Just About Finished With Adam. He Placed The Left Side...

Two Golfers Are Talking And One Says To The Other Charlie How...

A Woman Buys A New Car. As She'S Getting Ready To Drive Away She...

These Two Good-Old Boys Down In Louisiana Are Fishing In The...

The Old Guy Was On Trial For Selling Drugs And A Neighbor Was...

Hello? Hearing Only Heavy Breathing On The Line The Woman...

A Man And His Wife Are Going On A Cruise For A Week. As They Are...

Rufus Brown Was One Cool Dude Who Took Great Pride In Being The...

Recently My Daughter Asked Me (When I Had Two Of My Friends With...

This Guy Came Into The Bar With A Big Scowl On His Face And...

A Bloke Walked Into A Ice Cream Parlor And Whispered Can I Have...

A Man And A Beautiful Woman Were Having Dinner In A Fine...

An Italian Father Decided To Send His Son To America To Begin A...

Two Doctors Were Complaining About How Incompetent The Nurses...

These Two Old Friends Happen To Run Into Each Other On The...

At One Of The Better Clubs In London A Young Man Comes Up To An...

Feinstein The Lawyer Called His Client Goldman And Says Goldman...

A Woman Enters An Ice Cream Shop And Asks The Man Behind The...

The Doctor Gave Hillary (Clinton) The News You'Re Pregnant!...

A Pirate Walked Into A Bar And The Bartender Said Hey I Haven'T...

One Night The Boudreaux'S Are At The Thibodeaux'S House For A...

There Were These Two Trees A Birch And A Beech Who Lived Side By...

There Was This Little Boy Sitting Down On The Corner Shaking...

Huge Man Steps Into An Elevator And There'S This Little Midget...

A Customer Walks Into A Restaurant And Notices A Large Sign On...

Three Guys Were Convicted Of Various Sexual Crimes. The Judge...

A Man Ran Into His Doctor'S Office One Day All Excited. The...

Did You Hear About The Two Polacks Who Were Hunting Deer And...

The Young Man Had Invited His Parents To Meet His Fiancee Over...

An Inexperienced Young Polish Man Prior To His Wedding Asked His...

Two Guys Were Talking At A Bar About What They Did For A Living...

Three Very Old Women Were Sitting On A Park Bench When A Flasher...

A Polish Girl Called Up Her Druggist And Asked Him What She...

The New Substitute Teacher Was Introducing Herself To The Class...

What'S The Difference Between Snowmen And Snowwomen?...

Did You Hear The Story Of How Tarzan Got His Famous Yell? One...

A Drunk Wandered Down The Street Looking For A Whore House. But...

Two Men Are Having Their Hair Cut In A Barbershop. When The...

After A Wild Freeway Chase The Motorcycle Cop Waved The Speeding...

Visiting A Lawyer For Advice The Wife Said I Want You To Help Me...

Terms Used In Hockey That Sounds Dirty...

Signs That Jim Bakker Is Rehabilitated...

Serial Killer Pet Peeves...

Signs Of Spring In New York City...

Less Popular L.L. Bean Catalog Items...

Signs You'Ve Gone To A Bad Doctor...

Slogans For Tampered-With Sudafed...

What We'Ll Miss About Saddam Hussein...

Signs Your Neighbor Is A Serial Killer...

Mcdonald'S Is Now More Health Conscious...

Rejected Slogan For Raid Bug Spray...

Why Iraq Wants An Atomic Bomb...

Tasks For The Reunited Germany...

Keebler Elf Euphemisms For Death...

Dog Thoughts...

Rejected Titles For Reagan'S Memoirs...

Nasa'S Excuses For The Hubble Telescope Malfunctions...

Signs That Your Bank Is Failing...

Canadian Nicknames For Americans...

How To Get Hussein Out Of Kuwait...

Arnold Schwarzenegger'S Rejected Movie Lines...

Saddam Hussein'S Helpful Invasion Tips...

Items Cut From The Original Declaration Of Independence...

Dan Quayle'S New Year'S Resolutions...

Justifiable Grounds For Homicide...

Signs That Summer'S Over In Hell...

Signs You'Ve Gone To A Bad Funeral Director...

Rejected Slogan For Big Red Gum...

Less Popular Summer Camps...

Features Of Saddam Hussein'S Bunker...

Promotional Slogan For The Suicide Machine...

Dan Quayle'S Complaints About France...

Fast-Food Franchises In Iraq...

Iraqi Thanksgiving Traditions...

Rejected Gimmick For Doublemint Gum...

Rejected Nfl Team Names...

Slogans For The New Mclean Burger...

Amish Spring Break Activitys...

Rejected Half-Time Shows For The Super Bowl...

Categories On Iraqi Jeopardy!...

How Nbc News Can Save Money...

Perks Of Being Saddam Hussein Jr....

Failed Mr. Wizard Experiments...

Iraqi Nicknames For George Bush...

Less Popular Boy Scout Merit Badges...

Rejected Crayola Colors...

Reasons Eastern Airlines Went Bankrupt...

Rejected Bowl Game Titles...

Talent Of One Of The Contestants In The Miss Iraq Pageant...

Post-Mission Maintenance Chores On The Space Shuttle...

How Dan Quayle Can Build Up Public Confidence...

Less Exciting Superpowers For Comic Book Superheroes...

Signs That School Is Out In New York City...

Why The British Lost The Colonies...

Things That Makes You Go Hmmm...

A Little Yellow Bird...

Q. Why Do Women Have Periods?...

A Boy Who Found It Hard To Sleep Kept Hearing Funny Noises From...

ALPHA v0.3